It’s been a while since I’ve written something valuable here. I have been really busy writing elsewhere on many things and trust me, it’s not from lack of trying.
As many of you may know, I’ve been working with a great team on a new social network that will see the light of day sooner than you might think… I’ve been basically busy doing this and learning so much stuff at the same time. What we’re trying to do is to create a social platform that enable users to engage on content relevant to them based on their interests and location. My job in all of this is to make the user experience as easy as possible. Make it clear for you that the button you’re about to click will send us the info you decided to input. I also find a way to make ads on the website a plus value for the user and not just another “useless thing” that no one cares about. I believe that ads can be beautiful and enhance your experience on any website.
I’ve been doing a lot of research on user experience design recently for the social network I’m working on. I read a lot and I write a lot too. I’m fascinated by the slew of information available on internet on the topic. There’s so much interesting things to try and learn. UX isn’t just about making things easier for other people to use but more about understanding human behaviour and how we interact with elements based on the context. Did you know that most social networks use blue because it’s the less likely colour you can’t see. Only 1% of the total world population is estimated to have difficulty seeing blue. I’ve also learned that UX design can be translated on real life things and that it’s easier to grasp basic core concepts of UX design with real life objects. Everything around us from pens to door knobs are designed to work efficiently or almost. I still don’t understand why designers aren’t able to tell an architect to put the right knob on the right side of the door. It’s as if the door knob was designed to push but the door to pull.
I’ve also been really busy with Amy. She’s been really supportive of all my recent projects and is being quite helpful with a few. She serves up the best tartar I’ve ever tasted and all my friends like her. Which is a first. I love her very much and she’s awesome. Everything is simple for once and she’s not crazy like my exe’s or on crack. She’s there at most of the team reunions and she gives her input on what we’re doing. Did I mention I love her?
So that’s basically it I guess.
It has come to my attention that everything I do is related to women. Whether it be writing, designing or speaking, it’s all about women.
There’s something about women that makes things better. Without women or the idea of them, everything would be gray.
What I’m probably trying to say is that femininity guides my design and fuels my inspiration. That might explain why I have to be surrounded with women all the time. They have something that keeps me in check and in balance in this world we live in.
I’m a manipulative lying asshole. I lie to get what I want and I always get what I set my mind to. But every now and then comes a woman that makes me want to be a better person. Who makes me doubt about what I want or not.
All of this has a downside. A pretty big one of you ask me. I fall apart, I get writers block, I have sleepless nights, I can’t create anything worthwhile and everything I do become darker when a woman leaves me. I start missing something in my life. That femininity that kept me looking up to something in the morning. That vulnerability and imperfection that makes everything perfect. You can’t expect to create perfection without vulnerability.
Love is a strong word. Yes, I love women. I love women as much as I can love a beautiful work of art. Love is such a fragile thing. Most of us mistake it for something we have to show when in reality it’s something that shows by itself when it’s right. It is not something that comes one day and leaves. It’s something that has to grow with trust among many other things.
When I love, I love for real. I don’t hesitate in loving for a second. It keeps me going in dark times and it keeps me smiling at the brightest moments. It’s like a play or movie of some sort. It has a beginning, a great or really shitty story and an ending.
I’m good at endings. I’m a tough guy to follow. One day everything is perfect and the next all I see is clouds. That’s why I got used to the term letting go. If they leave, it is their decision. They will come back eventually if it is meant to be. Of not, it’s life.
“Baby, I’m a pro at letting go. I love it when they come and go.” -Abel
Last month we shared a video demo of Mailbox, the email app our startup has been quietly working on for the better part of a year. The response has been incredible. In the first 24 hours our homemade video was viewed over a quarter million times, and requests for access have been pouring in ever…
The way you talked to me back then,
Was all I needed to get back ahead.
When you took my hand and made smile.
Because smiles are what I need most these days.
Didn’t you think about it when you left?
All the girls after you, kissed the same.
They all had me the same
But you just moved on, what a shame.
And all I need is that feeling again,
The feeling of loving again.
The way you kissed me,
the way that you loved me.
And I made a life and I made a past,
So when you came back I’d have stories to tell,
Places to make you want to visit,
Kisses you’d lust for.
But when you came back you had changed,
You had a life worth of stories
Places you had gone to
and I was still alone here
And all I need is that feeling again,
The feeling of loving again.
The way you kissed me,
the way that you loved me.
You we’re a pro at running away,
And I was dead to you anyway,
So I decided to run away
and give it all away.
I love women. I find that they’re the greatest source of inspiration. If I’m having a writing block I’ll call up any girl in my phone to get some news. There’s something about women that makes them unique. Apart from being able to give birth, they have something special. Something in the sparkle or their eyes. Something in the laugh they give out on a bad joke. Something about that quirky nose movement. Something about that look. Yeah it’s the look. A look that once made empires fall.
It may also be the fact that I’m talking about women I’ve loved or have the upmost respect of.
2. I’m actually organized
Although my personal life is a complete mess filled with stories all funnier than the previous, I’m actually very tidy. My books have a special order (color and size), my pens go from the slimmest trait to the thickest. My contacts are ALL 100% complete and accurate. I hate not knowing a last name. Files and projects on my computer are named after women.
So…. If you ever start digging in my computer and see your name… It’s because I care.
I drink a lot. Mostly to write since it gets the creative juices flowing. And it helps me remember shit I wouldn’t have remembered otherwise. I love whiskey and have at least a drink a day.
4. It’s all in the details
For the women who’ve loved me, I’m a lover and I love details. I’ll get you that special flower just because you like it. I’ll match my watch with my shirt. Match my underwear with my socks. I’ll remember stuff you won’t think I noticed. And I’ll take you to places I know you’ll LOVE.
I associate places with people. MTL belongs to someone, Florida to someone else, NYC to another person.
You get the idea.
“I hope you realize you’re not a bad guy or the guy they say you are. You just need a good girl to get you back on track.”
You say you hate me.
You say you desire me.
You say you once knew me.
You say you once loved me.
We were both kids back then.
All we had was our heaven.
We had it all without asking.
And all I needed was to feel you beating.
Cold and sleepless nights followed.
Torturing me like a fish without water.
Because what’s worse than being flawed?
The feeling of being hollowed.
But my promises weren’t,
They meant the world to me.
But life had another intent
And it wanted you to see.
But I’ve stopped feeling,
Feeling was the past.
Would a surgeon operate without anesthesia?
Would you go on without numbing yourself?
But here I am.
Writing about a bitch.
While I’m trying to blow up my steam.
And all this to become your friend.
Will you ever get used to me?
Will you ever get used to how I live?
My life, my dreams and my ways?
You can be the only one if you ask.
But that’s the thing I guess.
There’s going to be plenty of you.
Until you tell me you want to be the one.
Because its the only way I’ll change.
Until then hate me.
Until then desire me.
Until then remember me.
Until then love me.
Somewhere between the moon and the sky
We had something worth laughing for
We had something to look up to
We had something that made us perfect
It doesn’t matter if she left or she came
It doesn’t matter if she spent it all
Because al we had was time
And that, she took it whiteout giving a damn.
Don’t care now
Pour me another one
I’ve had worse
But I’ve had better
Something between heaven or hell
Sometime between midnight and noon
Somewhere between here and Spain
Someone between me and you
The things you made me do
The moments you made me engrave
Engrave so deeply I can’t forget
Like a dream you can’t get out of
But what if the sky and the stars are for show
Just for your eyes to see
Just for your lips to taste
Just for your heart to beat
I should have stopped you before
I could have stopped you before
Didn’t want to stop you before
Shouldn’t have stopped you…
Go in deep
Get the feel you wanted from me
But now you left
And it’s nothing but withdrawals
Got you on the floor
Got you on the bed
Got you on the clouds
Got you in hell
But this time, just this time let me have it all. I gave it all. Now I want it back. Nothing matters now. All the peaches and mangos. All the pleasure. Filled in the void with these drugs pouring through my veins. Got me high on this pain. Sweet love I thought I had. But nothing more that an illusion. Nasty. I’m raw. Nastier than you. They all said it was a trap. But she came my way. And I’m not Hemingway. I just do what I think is the plan. Until we get to the promised land.
All I have left is this stack of pictures. Pictures with memories. And all I can remember are the pictures associated to you.
As most people know, I’m currently in the process of writing a new book which I intend to release soon. Whether it gets published or not is still to be decided and sorted out actually but I’ll be done with it soon.
This book has been different. In the last one, I was writing to forget. Forget all the shit that had happened. It was mainly about this dude that got so drunk and so fucking high to forget that he forgot to forget.
As I was saying, this book has been a complete different thought process. It’s basically the story of a man who falls into a coma after an accident. The whole story is told by him in his coma and it’s all about his memories. Everything that happened for him to end up there. Lying there, not being able to escape his thoughts. All he thought he had was time. Time is only useful if you have limited amounts of it. If you’re trapped in time, you go crazy. You start thinking. You start remembering. All the good. All the bad. And you can’t escape from it.
It’s also going to feature women. Unlike last book, the main character will have a name and only one woman will have one.
I’ve had a few people ask if it would hold as much truth as the last one did about me. Fact is, it’s hard to write about something and not feel emotionally attached to it. So, short answer, yes it will contain anecdotes from real life but nothing to hurt anyone.
I’ve been doing a lot of shit too. Most of you know I’ve been partying hard. I’m sorry to say that it’s over. Someone recently made me realize that I should be doing things differently I guess. With less illegal substances in my blood and less nights I don’t remember.
I have to get back in school and I’ll do it soon. Management, advertising or marketing. I’m not sure yet but I’m concentrating on those three.
If all goes well, I should be traveling much more this year. Vegas is already planned. London is still in the plans for the summer. California, France and Spain are on the table too.
As for my personal life, I guess I’ve been better. I’ve made some bad decisions in the past. Nothing I regret tho. I don’t live with regrets, I live with the results of my decisions. My mother always told me: You don’t have to go saying sorry to the world and you don’t have to love everyone either.
I guess what she means by that is that you can’t go saying sorry to everyone for the sake of saying sorry. It has to be worth the apology. You can’t go around giving your all to everyone. You might get hurt in the end.
I’ll end this post with the following:
I care about all of them. I live to make them smile, laugh, blush, love… But they all know that in the end, there’s only going to be one on the throne of my heart.